


I Had A Heart Then (The Dark Is Too Hard To Beat)

by Synnerxx



Series: Habits (Stay High) [8]
Category: Megadeth, Metallica
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:10:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6310963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David comes home and finds Dave in an odd mood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Had A Heart Then (The Dark Is Too Hard To Beat)

**Author's Note:**

> for raven. thanks for being awesome. hopefully this lives up to expectations. poor little rain cloud david.

David unlocks the door and steps inside the dark house, shutting the door behind him. He locks it again and puts his keys on the small table beside the door, nearly missing Dave sitting on the couch before he shifts and David looks at him, startling a little. 

“Oh! I didn’t see you there. I didn’t think you were here.” David puts a hand on his chest, his heart beating a little faster now. 

Dave doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with an unreadable expression, a few smudges of red on his chin. 

It makes David uneasy and he creeps a little closer, hoping he’s not about to get the wrong end of Dave’s temper aimed at him. “Dave? Are you okay?”

Dave cracks a smile, the cut on his lip splitting again, a slow trickle of blood dripping down his chin. He doesn’t say anything.

David takes a shaky breath and glances around, not seeing James. “Did you fight with James?”

“I’ve figured it out.” Dave’s voice is rough, hoarse. 

“Figured what out?” David hesitates, lingering near the arm chair, nervous. 

Dave smiles a little more. “We’re all doomed to fail.”

“W-What do you mean?” David asks, fingers rubbing at the fabric of the arm chair. 

Dave licks the blood from his lip, hand coming up to swipe at his chin, smearing the half-dried blood there more. “We’re not meant to be happy.”

“Who’s not meant to be happy?” David frowns a little, confused and concerned.

“Me. You. James. Lars. All of us. We’re not meant to be happy because none of us work. We can’t get it right. Can’t stop collapsing and falling apart and not being enough and not being right. We aren’t meant to be happy.” Dave explains, voice oddly calm, expression still unreadable in the shadows of the room that play across his face. 

“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” David chews his lip, his uneasy growing as he watches Dave, sees the gleam in his eyes even in the darkness as he continues on. 

“It’s so simple. We’re just not meant to be. James and I certainly aren’t either. Neither is James and Lars. We can’t get it right, no matter how much we try. You….You could have had a chance, but you’re too caught up in loving me. And look where that’s gotten you. Nowhere, really. Cleaning up my messes, loving someone who won’t or can’t treat you like they should. And yet, you’re still here. You still stay. I don’t know if that’s pathetic or admirable. That you love me so much. Even though you know I don’t love you the same way.”

David flinches a little, heart breaking as Dave talks to him, tears blurring his vision, making it even harder to see in the darkness of the room. “Dave, please…”

Dave tilts his head at him. “What? You know it’s true. I mean, I do love you. But. It’s not how you really want me to love you, right? Not how you love me.”

“Why are you telling me this?” David asks, refusing to let the tears fall, not wanting to show any weakness to Dave, unsure of where that will get him, wondering why he even bothered to come home. That’s a lie. He knows why he came home. He always comes back to Dave. Without fail.

“Because I’ve figured it out. We have to accept that we aren’t meant to be happy. You could have a chance if you got away from me, but you won’t. So you’re stuck too. Just like the rest of us. And it all starts and ends with me.” Dave nods to himself, licking his lip again.

David weighs his options and sighs, creeping a little closer to Dave. “Are you okay?”

Dave blinks and focuses on him, eyes dark. “No.”

David wrings his hands. “How can I help?”

“You can’t, not really. No one can.” Dave shrugs, looking away from David’s face, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes from his words.

“Please, Kitty. Let me help.” David pleads with him, hating the slump of Dave’s shoulders, the unhappiness etched into the lines of his face. He crouches down in front of Dave, reaching up and grasping his chin gently, examining the split lip. 

Dave makes a soft noise of protest, but he doesn’t pull away, watching David with an odd look that David can’t place. 

Dave allows him to look at the cut on his lip for a few more moments before he’s leaning down and tugging David into a kiss that tastes like metal and salt. David swallows down the noise of surprise and lets Dave kiss him roughly, feeling the blood from Dave’s mouth smear across his lips. 

It stays rough and biting for a long minute before Dave seems to relax and the tension drains out of him, turning the kiss softer and more gentle. David stays tense, still unsure of where this is heading, but he allows Dave to pull him up onto the couch and lay him out on his back. Dave breaks the kiss and looks at him, blinking slowly, eyes dark and unreadable. 

David pants a little, shifting under Dave. He doesn’t know what to expect, can’t read Dave at all right now and he’s not sure where this is going to go. 

Dave leans down again and kisses him soft and slow and almost sweet, if not for the taste of blood lingering on their lips and tongues. David moans softly into the kiss and arches into Dave, heat flowing through his veins, unable to help himself as Dave kisses him deeply. 

Dave’s hands slide over David, under his shirt and over smooth, warm skin. His fingers find David’s nipples and pinch and tug at them gently, drawing moans and sighs of pleasure from David. The noises go straight to Dave’s cock and he presses his hips against David’s, making them both groan as their cocks throb with the pressure, separated by layers of denim. David slides his hands into Dave’s curls, rubbing himself shamelessly against Dave. 

Dave breaks the kiss and gives him a heated look, pulling David’s shirt off and tossing it to the floor. David kicks his shoes off and lets Dave drag his jeans down and off, throwing them down with his shirt. He strips himself too and stretches out along David, kissing him again, still soft and slow. 

David lets himself sink into the kiss, wanting to ignore Dave’s words, but the lingering taste of blood in their mouths is a sharp reminder that Dave can be cruel when he wants and he always knows the softest places to dig his claws into David. 

Dave sucks marks onto David’s neck, pushing their hips together, moaning against David’s heated skin as their cocks get slick with precome, sliding against each other as they pulse with pleasure. David whimpers and grips Dave’s shoulders tightly as he rocks up against him, always wanting whatever Dave will give him. 

Dave kisses down his neck and onto his chest, tonguing over his nipples, groaning when David’s hands clench in his hair, tugging a little, making his cock twitch at the bright sting in his scalp. “You like that? Want more?” 

“Fuck, please, please!” David begs, spreading his legs and arching into Dave more. 

Dave hums his pleasure against David’s skin and moves over his stomach, biting and sucking and kissing his way down, licking a stripe up his cock, moaning softly at his taste as it spills across his tongue. He feels around in the cushions for the lube he keeps stashed there and finds it, popping the cap and wetting his fingers down with it, sinking two inside of David as he takes his cock down his throat at the same time, fingers pressing against his sweet spot. 

David jerks, pulling Dave’s hair more, making him groan again around his mouthful, the pain bright and sharp and delicious as it twists along his nerves. David whines, rocking his hips down on Dave’s fingers as they vibrate against his sweet spot, moaning helplessly as pleasure burns through him, his cock pouring precome into Dave’s mouth as he swallows around it, deep throating him perfectly. He presses another finger into David, stretching him out for his cock, listening to the noises he makes for him, bobbing his head on his length as he sucks him firmly, hollowing his cheeks. 

David whines, the pleasure getting hotter and brighter, threatening to consume him. Dave pulls off of his cock just in time, sliding his fingers out of him too. He slicks up his cock with the rest of the lube on his hand and hooks David’s legs around his hips, pressing against him, shivering in anticipation. 

“Please! Dave, please!” David rocks his hips down on Dave’s cock, wanting him inside of him. 

Dave pushes inside of him, angling his hips to hit his sweet spot with every thrust, making David claw at his shoulders a little as he starts a deep, firm pace that has them both moaning as the pleasure sears over their nerves. 

Dave drops a hand between them and strokes David’s cock in time to their movements, bringing him closer and closer to the edge as he fucks into him. He forces his eyes open, wanting to watch David as he comes apart under him. 

“Oh god, Dave, I’m gonna come! Fuck!” David tenses for a long moment before the dam breaks and he comes hard over Dave’s fingers, muscles squeezing Dave’s cock rhythmically with his orgasm. Dave growls and buries himself deep inside of David and comes with a loud growl, tossing his curls back over his shoulders, shuddering his pleasure out. 

David sinks back into the cushions of the couch as he pants, still holding onto Dave as he pants, the aftershocks slowly fading into the afterglow. Dave’s hips twitch a little into him before he slides out of him with a soft hiss. 

David watches him in silence, still unsure of Dave’s mood. Dave brings his hand up to his mouth and cleans up David’s come, moaning softly before he reaches out and grabs some tissues and cleans them up, laying down beside David. 

“Do you wanna talk?” David asks softly.

Dave pauses for a long moment. “No.”

“Can I do anything to help?” David tries again.

“No.” Dave mutters, closing his eyes.

David sighs a little, but doesn’t push, knowing when to back off. He relaxes as much as he can, listening to Dave slurp as he drifts off to sleep, a slight frown creasing his forehead. 

Dave’s words echo in his head. They’re not meant to be. They’re not supposed to be happy. He’s stuck with Dave because he can’t free himself from him. Dave doesn’t love him the same way as he loves Dave. 

On some level, he’s always known this. He’s not that blind, no matter what anyone else thinks. He knows Dave doesn’t look at him the way he looks at Dave. He’s learned to live with it, learned to live on whatever scraps Dave will give him. It’s the only way he makes it through this. Nights like tonight where Dave is gentle - or as gentle as he gets - and loving, even combined with his weird mood and hurtful words are what keeps him afloat in the rough seas of their relationship. 

He strokes Dave’s curls and listens to him breathe, soft and steady. He’s wanted to leave before. He’s tried to beg Dave to let him go, tired of being pushed aside and made to feel like he doesn’t matter. He’s wanted to get away from Dave, but there’s just something about him that draws David in and refuses to let him go. He’s sure he will never escape Dave. 

He’s not even sure he wants to anymore. He knows how to exist and survive here with Dave. He doesn’t want to be alone, doesn’t want to risk the world out there where there’s no Dave to be there at his side. 

He watches Dave sleep, knowing he’s caught in his web as sure as a fly is caught in a spider’s web. Unlike the fly though, David’s long since given up struggling to free himself. He’s accepted his fate and accepted that his place in life is with Dave and there, he’ll stay. 

He’s not even sure he knows how to be truly happy anymore anyway. What does it matter? As long as he has Dave in whatever way Dave will allow him to have him, then he’s as happy as he needs to be anyway. 

This is where he belongs. Dave is wrong about that. This is how they’re supposed to be. 

One day, Dave will see that. He will. 

He has to.


End file.
